Friday, September 13, 2013

Annoying Frequently Asked Questions

Why are you so pale? 
I'm pale because it's genetic. Why are you [insert skin color]? I choose not to tan because I don't want to look like a leather couch in my 30s and the color of a basted turkey is just not flattering. Tans emphasize all my skin imperfections too. I scar easily and my body is covered in little round scars from bug bites and scrapes I got as a kid. They are REALLY noticeable even with a light tan.

Don't accuse me of wearing the wrong foundation or being sick. THAT IS RUDE, K. Don't harass me about it loudly in public places (especially when I'm at work) because you just look like a freakin dumbass to everyone else. Trrrrrust me, it is genetic. One side of my family is all ginger Swedes, we don't do tanning.

What did you do to your hair?
I dyed it... what do you think?

Why do you always wear nail polish?
My nails are in awful shape. Nail polish keeps them from peeling and breaking (well, more than they would with out). It also hides the discolored marks on my nails. The short answer, however, is because I want to and I like it.

Why are you so skinny?
I'm not even going to entertain this one, especially in public. It's a rude question. I am actually average weight for my height. I am not sickly and I don't have an eating disorder. Also, don't pinch my love handles looking for an ounce of fat, personal space please!

What ever happened to manners? If you feel the need to interrogate someone about their appearance DON'T. Take a deep breath, step back and think about why you're bothered by it. If you're just curious maybe try to phrase your question in a less obnoxious way like "how do you manage to keep your skin so light this time of year?" or "your hair is interesting, how did you do it?".

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